4 Symptoms & Cures For A Man Chaser

Symptom 1: You are blowing up his phone.

Calling “too much” is a pretty subjective thing, but guess what? You don’t decide what’s too much, the person you’re calling does. So even if you think calling every other day and sending three texts a day isn’t too much, if he says (or better yet shows) that he thinks it’s too much then it’s too much, baby girl.  He’s non-verbally telling you that you call/text too often if most of your attempts at communication go completely answered.  You don’t want him to roll his eyes when he sees your name on his phone do you?

Cure:  Change his name in your phone to  “Does He Ever Call You?” That will force you to face facts every single time you’re ready to hit “send.”  If that doesn’t work, utilize the delete function on your phone. You don’t know his number by heart.  If a man wants to be with you, he will make sure you know it. Stop throwing it if he’s not catching.

Symptom 2: You stalk him.

So maybe you aren’t boiling his pets or sliding down his chimney, but how many times a day do you check his Facebook page?  Do you “research” women who comment on his pictures and write on his wall? Do you monitor his tweets? Mmmhmmm.

Cure: Trade in your online stalking for more productive things like keeping in touch with other people in your life. Email a college friend. Call your great aunt.  Don’t reduce yourself to a dramatic teenager trying to analyze other people’s online conversations. Oh and if you’re physically stalking a man, you just need to stop that right now today. Cold turkey.  Replace that with doing thing real life grown up women do.

Symptom 3: You drop everything for a taste.

No matter if you are having a great time with your girls at the club, visiting your grandmother or catching up on work, if you favorite * ahem* slinger calls, you drop everything.

Cure:  Make sure you maintain a balanced life.  Be conscious of being a good friend, family member, career woman and lover.  No one person should be your whole life, not even a spouse much less the man who has you d*ckmatized at the moment. Learn to appreciate anticipation, girl.  Sometimes a little distance is good.

Symptom 4: You settle for “hook ups” even when you want a date.

Nothing wrong with a (safe) quickie every now and again or a (safe) late night creep, but if that’s all you get from him, you’re not in a relationship, you’re in a “situation.”  Settling for less than what you want just for a little ooh ahh is not the move.

Cure:  That dude is not the only person who has bedroom skills. Seriously. His delectable body, no matter how wonderful, is not worth your dignity or emotional health. Let him know what you need from him and what you expect from the two of you together. If he can’t/won’t get on the same page, keep it moving.  Buy a battery-powered friend for the time being until you’re ready to be intimate with a worthy man.

Don’t be ashamed if you’re d*ckmatized. It happens to the best of us. Just don’t let it happen for too long or too many times.  Work it, don’t let it work you.

5 Reasons He Hasnt Called Back

 

How many times have you waited too long for a man to call and ask you out again after you had an amazing time together? He seemed truly interested, but then you never hear from him again. Why does this happen for so many women? And what does it mean about men?

Here are the different reasons men do this:

Reason #1: He's Having Trouble Being Honest
If you and a man hit it off, trade numbers, talk for a while or trade emails, but he never seems to make the initiative to actually see you—then something else is going on. Men often have a hard time sharing the truth about their feelings with women they've just met. Maybe he's already seeing someone else. It's fine to casually ask in a playful way, "I'm curious since you're kinda cute—are you dating anyone interesting right now?" Invite honesty from men and you'll get it. If you wait and wonder, you'll end up wasting your own time and energy.

Reason #2: He's Just Looking For a Fling
If a man really likes you, but he is more interested in a casual encounter and senses you're not that kind of girl, he'll move on—partially out of respect for you (or his own selfish desires). In either case, the timing is off. Not calling you back was his way of letting you know where he’s at without having to say it directly. Take heart, in this case he's actually doing you a favor by not calling.

Reason #3: He Was Just Being Polite
Have you ever given your number to a man who asked for it, all the while dreading the idea of ever talking to him again? Men do something similar with women. Sometimes men can enjoy a conversation with you but not really be interested in anything more. In this case, a man was just being polite by asking for your number. What He's Really Thinking During Your First Few Dates

Reason #4: He Lost Interest
He was interested in you at first, but something happened along the way to change his mind about you. Maybe he sensed some anxiety from you that creeped him out. Or maybe he sensed a bit of desperation ("You're going to call me, right?"). Communicating either anxiousness or desperation early on before a man knows you is a sure attraction-killer.

Reason #5: He Lost Your Number or Forgot to Call
Yes, sometimes this really happens. Men lose your number and can't call. Unfortunately, when it does, women often fill their heads with all kinds of wild stories that only make them feel bad about themselves.

6 Things NOT To Do, The First Time You Sleep With Someone

 

So you've met Mr. Right. (Or Mr. Right Now.) You're a good girl, so you've waited the requisite amount of time and you just know that tonight is the night you've been dreaming of all year/month/week/minute.

You look good, you smell good and you're wearing the only matching lingerie set you own. All signs point to go.

 

You'd think with this many green lights that there's no way a lady could mess this up. Maybe you'd think that, but you'd be wrong. Here are just a few of the ways this could go south in a hurry:

1. Don't depend on him for birth control. Yes, he should carry condoms, but ultimately it's up to you -- it's your body and you need to keep yourself safe. I'm not saying that's the way it should be, but the sad fact is, even the nicest seeming guy isn't always as invested in keeping us disease and pregnancy-free. Even if you're the kind of traditional lady who insists your date pay for everything (after all, you're giving him the gift of your company), do not let stubbornness get in the way of your safe good time. And nothing ruins a good time like a below-the-belt itch or unplanned pregnancy.

2. For Pete's sake, don't cry. Some of us have a weird habit of occasionally bursting into tears during sex -- it's the rush of endorphins that does it, so blame biology! But, if there's any way to pull yourself together the first time you make sweet love to your new boyfriend, try to. Waterworks will lead him to believe that either he hurt you--and in that case, will never again do that thing again -- or he'll think that you're a mental case. Either way, you probably won't be seeing him again anytime soon.

3. Leave the comparison talk at home. You know how almost every woman you know thinks she's fat? Yeah, well most guys think they're, ahem, less endowed than they actually are. Imagine if you thought a size zero was the way you thought you should look just because the model in Vogue was. Sigh.

4. Don't introduce him to your stuffed animal collection. If you're old enough to be sexually active, you're old enough to squash Paddington Bear to the back of your closet, Winnie The Pooh under the bed, and your collection of American Girl dolls in the garbage bin.

5. Do not automatically assume that he'll like everything your ex enjoyed. One man's erogenous zone is another man's tickle spot is another man's horrified, "What are you doing?" and so on.

6. Don't show him every trick in your book. Yes, I know it's been a while, but try to breathe, relax, and enjoy yourself. This is supposed to be mutual pleasure two people who might have a future together--not an audition for racy feature film.

New Man? Don't Ditch Your Girlfriends

When you’re single it’s easy to be a loyal friend; it’s easy to be there when you’re needed, to be a pillar of support and readily available. As single ladies, our girlfriends are the rocks that get us through disappointing work experiences and bad relationships. They are the women with whom we laugh, scream and cry.

Then comes the man of your dreams with the courage to get down on one knee. You get married and, suddenly, he becomes your first priority.

Girlfriends often feel left by the wayside as newlyweds tend to get wrapped up in their marital bliss. The transition from “me” to “us” can be difficult and newly married couples are faced with finding balance. Though it requires some understanding from your girls, much of the responsibility for maintaining previous friendships is up to you. If you don’t, a part of your individuality will be lost and you may find yourself feeling lonely and isolated.

If you’re engaged, newly married or in need of friendship rejuvenation, here are some tips for making the transition from great single girlfriend to awesome married girlfriend:

1. Establish boundaries in your marriage

You and your husband should set parameters on your marriage. For example, how late is too late for friends to call? It varies according to couple. Which friends of one another’s do you approve? Just like men have some friends who are bad for business, women do too. It is important to have this discussion so the two of you can express your feelings and become aware of what things are individually significant. Let him know you understand your wifely obligations but plan to allocate time to your friends.

2. Explain your new life to your friends.

Your friends have to understand that your life has changed and it’s no longer just about you and what you want to do. Let them know you still love and appreciate them but your husband (and, in the case of children, family) comes first. Be clear that you will not be as available, but you will do your best to be there when needed and you will make room for quality time. Anyone who can’t handle that doesn’t have your best interest at heart.

3. Call regularly.

Keeping in touch is huge. It is imperative not to let the conversation fall off. Girlfriends chat; be sure to give your girls a call once or twice every other week. Some friends are more high maintenance than others, so spread yourself accordingly. Weeks can turn into months and months into years if you don’t make a point to pick up the phone.

4. Schedule time with your friends at least once a month.

Phone conversations are great, but face time is almost equally as important. You may not be able to post-club at IHOP until 5AM anymore, but you can still congregate at your favorite sushi spot for Saki and sashimi—same day, same time, every month. Make it a priority to do some of the same girlfriend stuff you did before. Suggest your husband spend the time you’re out with his friends.

5. Remember special dates.

Keep an updated calendar of birthdays, anniversaries, promotions and anything else that may be important. Be sure to send a gift or card, something to let them know you care. It is nice to know your friends are thinking of you when it seems like they’ve moved on.

6. Invite them over.

Host a few dinner parties or cookouts and invite your friends over. Help acclimatize them to your new husband and home. The more you make them feel a part of it the less they may feel excluded. Plus, your friends can get to know your husband’s friends better and bring more continuity to the union.

7. Go off for a yearly getaway.

Spend a weekend with the ladies. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant or somewhere too far. Head to the nearest beach, spa resort or bed and breakfast. Every wife needs a breather once in a while. Why not spend it with your friends?  Girlfriend getaways are good for the soul and evidence you’re still the same sister-friend, just married.

5 Common Mistakes Women Make Verbally That Scare Men Off

 

It’s common knowledge that our non-verbal communication says a whole lot more than our verbal. But when you stay sitting pretty, have trouble sustaining a relationship, a look at the way you are presenting yourself verbally may be necessary.

Well I did some groundwork, interrogated (with love of course) a few of my closest male friends and came up with five common verbal communication mistakes women make that may be scaring men off. And no, this is not an attempt to change who you are, however it will hopefully make you more aware of things you may wish to work on:

Hogging the mic: A date isn’t your local open mic night, learn the art of passing the microphone along. Testing, testing, one two, one two! A soliloquy of your senior year in college, a list of childhood friends you still keep in touch with and drama with your cousin can be saved for another day. Believe me, he wants to know all about you but not all at once…baby steps, ladies baby steps.

Bad mouthing others: Watch a man’s face or anyone’s face the next time you get started on why you didn’t like the new Rihanna video, straight bored. Yes, you may be witty and absolutely right when you give your two cents, but save it for Youtube girl. Wear your Sunday’s best inside and out.

Thug life: I know it may be in some of our make ups to be a little more aggressive than your average female, but you don’t have to “throw up gang signs” in a man’s face. Like Queen Latifah once said, “real bad girls are the silent type”. Pick and choose your battles; a date shouldn’t be one of them!

Talking about what you don’t want: The number one communicative turn off is when a woman starts listing what she doesn’t want from a man in front of the man she wants. Nobody wants to know that you don’t want a man who plays mind games, lies, cheats, or has no money, that’s a give in. Instead focus on communicating what you truly want out of a relationship and do this consistently. Positive reinforcement goes a long way.

Say what you feel: Ladies sometimes we hold in too much, and we wonder why our men withhold their true feelings and desires. Lead by example, if you’re angry let him know, if you’re not ready to tell him why, let him know you need time to think. Conversely if he did something you like, make it your responsibility to uplift him with praise and recognition. Don’t worry about an overblown ego, we all deserve to know when we are doing right or wrong and the more we give the more you’ll receive.

5 Reasons Women Should Slow Down When Dating

 

We have to slow down for these reasons:

1. Take time to truly get to know him. When you move too fast you miss out on the chance to get to know who he really is. You can’t just find out the basics of a person that most of us run down on the very first date. It is not enough to know that his occupation is a teacher, and that randomly his favorite food is pizza. You are not a match made in heaven because you happen to like pizza as well. Who doesn’t? Getting to know someone is not as easy as someone running down a one page resume on an interview, it is more like a person having a 90 day period at a job before the boss can even determine if they are a right fit for the company. Take your time!

2. Don’t ignore the warning signs. When you move fast you also run the risk of missing out on necessary warning signs that could possibly be telling you that he isn’t the one. Sometimes we are so determined to make this guy our “man” that we even ignore when he says “I’m not looking for a relationship right now”. How is that not clear? But to a woman on a mission, those words mean nothing. Scary! Slow down and pay attention to the warning signs, and don’t wait until you are already in the relationship for things to crumble before your eyes.

3. Build a friendship or solid foundation first. Women always like to bypass the “friend” stage, not realizing that a friendship is the foundation for a strong relationship. Have you ever heard someone say their husband is their best friend? Relationships are a lot stronger that go deeper then sex, attraction, and having a few things in common. Become the persons friend, enjoy each other, and become intimate on levels beyond sex.

4. Don’t scare him away. Sometimes when women make up in their mind too soon that they are ready for the guy they are dealing with to become official, it begins to become obvious. You don’t want to give off so much energy that it screams to the man that you are trying to tie him down and make him become committed. Even if you don’t say it, it shows in your actions. Trust me people can feel the vibes you give off. This can scare a man away in a heartbeat. They never want to feel as if they are being pressured to do anything.

5. Have fun and enjoy the moment. Women rarely just date for fun. When we are on a date we are so caught up in determining if he is “the one” that we miss out on actually just enjoying the date in front of us. Sometimes it’s okay just to enjoy the person or the activity that you two are doing together. When a woman is more relaxed and just enjoying herself, it makes the man relaxed and he will naturally want to spend more time with you. And if he doesn’t, so what? At least you took time to enjoy the moment.

So, slow down, have fun, and take more time to determine if someone is truly meant for you so that you can avoid getting into relationships that are bound to end up in a break-up. Stop racing to the finish line, because you might finish first, but those pacing might never have to run another race.

9 Ways: How To Tell If Your Man Is Cheating

Ladies, here are some signs that will let you know if your man is cheating on you:

1. He immediately deletes text messages after sending/receiving them

2. He always deletes his call history

3. He gets rid of everything in his computer cache (files, history & cookies)

4. He established a history of working late in the beginning of the relationship.While this may actually be true, this also helps comfort you when his rendezvous is running later than he’d planned, or he simply loses track of time.

5. He established a history of having “little sisters” early in the relationship. This gives him an alibi just in case his slide calls him angry in the middle of the night. He can always say it’s one of his friends calling for some brotherly advice.

6. He hugs every woman he meets — young and old. Comes in handy if you ask why he smells like perfume or has lipstick on your cheek. There’s no better alibi than old Ms. Johnson.

7. He’s either got really clumsy friends, a serious drinking problem, or both. He knows that if he comes home smelling like sex, or even smelling too clean, then tries to lay next to you, you will know something is wrong. As a cover-up, he may purchase a small bottle of rum, then pour a little on his hands and shirt. He knows you will then either insist that he shower, or at least he will have the opportunity to tell you that his co-worker mistakenly spilled it on him at the bar after work.  (If he sounds mad at said co-worker, it will help with the effect.)

8. When going out:

A. He will always use cash, and will even stash some money in his desk at work or in his gym locker. He may even take the extra precaution of hiding it next to his spare tire. If you happen to find his stash there, he will tell you it was some “just-in-case-I-needed-to-get-a-tow” money. Remember, cash leaves no paper trail.

B. He will choose a restaurant far away. Indian restaurants are great for side dates — they are normally dark and secluded, and patrons are limited. Plus, his side girl may believe he’s adventurous.

C. He will refrain from using the bathroom when at a restaurant or movie. The more he moves, the more noticeable he becomes.

D. He will park away from his destination and, whenever possible, in a parking garage (preferably the top level). Rarely do people park on the top, and the worst thing he could hear is, “I saw (or my girlfriend saw) your car at __________. What were you doing around there?” And all because he parked on the street.

E. When going to a hotel he may spend the cash to go to a boutique hotel. They usually have limited rooms, and are accustomed to using discretion with their celebrity guests. This lessens the chances of him being spotted, and, unlike the Holiday Inn, it impresses the ladies.

And, last but not least:

9. If all else fails, he will go to The Alibi Network.

Engaged: Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries

 

 

 

Well, Kim Kardashian is officially off the market. This past weekend, her baller boo Kris Humphries popped the question with a 20.5 Carat ring:

Her boyfriend of six months, New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries, was waiting in her bedroom on bended knee with four words written in red rose petals: “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”

“I didn’t expect this at all,” Kardashian, 30, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview (out Friday) of the romantic, surprise proposal. “I was in such shock. I never thought it would happen at home, and I never thought now.”

Humphries popped the question with a custom-designed, 20.5-carat Lorraine Schwartz diamond sparkler. “I just knew I wanted it to be big,” says Humphries, 26, who, with the help of Kardashian’s mom Kris Jenner, planned an intimate family celebration later that evening.

“Kris really didn’t want a big celebration, but he had jokingly told my mom he’d be fine if there were mini-horses there,” says Kardashian with a laugh. “Later that night at the party, my mom brought out two mini-horses, covered in glitter, for us! It was hysterical!”