4 Symptoms & Cures For A Man Chaser

Symptom 1: You are blowing up his phone.

Calling “too much” is a pretty subjective thing, but guess what? You don’t decide what’s too much, the person you’re calling does. So even if you think calling every other day and sending three texts a day isn’t too much, if he says (or better yet shows) that he thinks it’s too much then it’s too much, baby girl.  He’s non-verbally telling you that you call/text too often if most of your attempts at communication go completely answered.  You don’t want him to roll his eyes when he sees your name on his phone do you?

Cure:  Change his name in your phone to  “Does He Ever Call You?” That will force you to face facts every single time you’re ready to hit “send.”  If that doesn’t work, utilize the delete function on your phone. You don’t know his number by heart.  If a man wants to be with you, he will make sure you know it. Stop throwing it if he’s not catching.

Symptom 2: You stalk him.

So maybe you aren’t boiling his pets or sliding down his chimney, but how many times a day do you check his Facebook page?  Do you “research” women who comment on his pictures and write on his wall? Do you monitor his tweets? Mmmhmmm.

Cure: Trade in your online stalking for more productive things like keeping in touch with other people in your life. Email a college friend. Call your great aunt.  Don’t reduce yourself to a dramatic teenager trying to analyze other people’s online conversations. Oh and if you’re physically stalking a man, you just need to stop that right now today. Cold turkey.  Replace that with doing thing real life grown up women do.

Symptom 3: You drop everything for a taste.

No matter if you are having a great time with your girls at the club, visiting your grandmother or catching up on work, if you favorite * ahem* slinger calls, you drop everything.

Cure:  Make sure you maintain a balanced life.  Be conscious of being a good friend, family member, career woman and lover.  No one person should be your whole life, not even a spouse much less the man who has you d*ckmatized at the moment. Learn to appreciate anticipation, girl.  Sometimes a little distance is good.

Symptom 4: You settle for “hook ups” even when you want a date.

Nothing wrong with a (safe) quickie every now and again or a (safe) late night creep, but if that’s all you get from him, you’re not in a relationship, you’re in a “situation.”  Settling for less than what you want just for a little ooh ahh is not the move.

Cure:  That dude is not the only person who has bedroom skills. Seriously. His delectable body, no matter how wonderful, is not worth your dignity or emotional health. Let him know what you need from him and what you expect from the two of you together. If he can’t/won’t get on the same page, keep it moving.  Buy a battery-powered friend for the time being until you’re ready to be intimate with a worthy man.

Don’t be ashamed if you’re d*ckmatized. It happens to the best of us. Just don’t let it happen for too long or too many times.  Work it, don’t let it work you.