Have you ever had that friend? Not the one who tells you like it is but the one who’s only happy so long as she is the one. You know the one to get a great promotion; the first to purchase a home; the first to get married and so on. Mostly interested in admiration from others and being delighted in themselves, seldom are they prepared to bask in the glory of someone else. Their selfishness won’t allow them to praise you for doing better. Instead, she grinds her teeth into a constipated smile while mentally rolling her eyes.
You deserve to pat yourself on the back and celebrate successes, and your girlfriends should be on the sidelines cheering every step of the way. Anyone who can’t corroborate with the group should have their membership in your circle reconsidered. Jealousy is a poison you can do better without.
Think one of your girls might be a certified hater? Here are a few characteristics associated with Jealous Friend Syndrome:
1. “Congratulations, but…”
The word “but” negates. It invalidates everything previously stated. “Congratulations, but…” or “I’m so happy for you, but…” really means “I’ve overlooked the importance of your accomplishments to find fault.” Jealous girlfriends often unknowingly give their true feelings away by sprinkling in criticisms with compliments.
The word “but” negates. It invalidates everything previously stated. “Congratulations, but…” or “I’m so happy for you, but…” really means “I’ve overlooked the importance of your accomplishments to find fault.” Jealous girlfriends often unknowingly give their true feelings away by sprinkling in criticisms with compliments.
2. One-uppers
You land a great job and suddenly she’s on the cusp of moguldom. You start dating a stock trader and out of nowhere she tells you things are getting serious between her and a hedge fund manager. The friend who just can’t seem to ever let you have your moment without sharing how they are doing better in a similar area is jealous. Your potential is a threat to their self-esteem, so they’re O.K. with your life being mediocre.
3. Dreamkilling
No one needs a Negative Nancy bringing them down. Jealous friends kill dreams because they don’t have the courage it takes to wholeheartedly pursue their own. If you find your girl is always coming up with reasons for failure and her words never seem to help, she’s probably jealous.
No one needs a Negative Nancy bringing them down. Jealous friends kill dreams because they don’t have the courage it takes to wholeheartedly pursue their own. If you find your girl is always coming up with reasons for failure and her words never seem to help, she’s probably jealous.
4. The Disappearing Act
Jealous girlfriends are good for “unintentionally” going M.I.A. soon after a major accomplishment. They are conveniently too busy to answer calls, because the envy in their veins is too overwhelming to hide. The excitement is too much to stomach so they distance themselves until the commotion dies down.
Jealous girlfriends are good for “unintentionally” going M.I.A. soon after a major accomplishment. They are conveniently too busy to answer calls, because the envy in their veins is too overwhelming to hide. The excitement is too much to stomach so they distance themselves until the commotion dies down.
5. Unnecessary criticism
Haters focus on negative attributes and pinpoint even the minutest of “problems.” The friend who is constantly providing unwanted (and unwarranted) critique is likely jealous and desperate for you to share their feelings of inadequacy.
6. Disbelief
While the state of awe is typically a good thing, for some, it is a place of “How in the world did that happen!?” The jealous friend who believes she’s prettier, smarter and more valuable than you is actually saying “Oh my God!” because she can’t have you surpassing her. If the exuberance is followed by a blank stare instead of a bestie bear hug, check box: Jealous.
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