Sunday, June 5, 2011

7 Most Annoying Club Behaviors


 Going out to the club is an activity that requires just as much mental preparation as it does primping. Not only do you have to put yourself together, crafting an outfit that is both sexy and comfortable enough to dance in,  you also have to prepare your mind for the inevitable foolishness you will encounter. Take a look at some of the things that annoy the mess out of us when we step out the house and into the club.


The Shackle Grab
I don’t know when it ever became acceptable to grab a woman in public but the shackle grab is one of the worst things you can do. Wrapping your entire man paw around my delicate wrist is not going to persuade me to dance with you. In fact, now I’m disgusted. Make yourself scarce.


Run Up and Get it
Sometimes women are just as much to blame as men are for this tacky tactic. If you’re bent over at a 90 degree angle, giving dudes the eye in between booty claps you’re pretty much asking for it. But that’s not me. So I don’t understand why you took my fully erect, two step to mean that I wanted you to slam your junk into my booty.


Crushing my toes
Now you don’t go to the club to dance alone, so there’s always one dude who will approach you with the right combination of charisma, politeness, and at least a sprinkle of cute. When you find that combo you’ll be inclined to dance with him. And while we won’t be inclined to totally dismiss you, stepping on my toes during a slow dance is a serious mood killer. I’m trying to be cute tonight and you stepping on my baby toe, making me limp across the dance floor is not cute.  Gots to be more careful.


 Interrupting the “girl” circle
Girls Night Out is in no way a new concept; yet, without fail some dude will interrupt the girl circle by jumping in right as your song comes on. Maybe it has something to do with the extra sparkle that appears in your eye when the DJ starts spinning your jam. All that aside, now is not the time.


Trying to get my life story
You opened your heart and decided to dance with dude for one song. Instead of letting you concentrate on your moves, this man wants to engage in full on conversation. Questions like “where are you from?” “do you live around here?” and “what do you do for a living?” are too much for the dance floor. If I’m feeling you after the dance then we can get into the first level personal information.


Liquid Conversations
You know the club scene is loud, so you’ll have to lean and do the muffled scream all night. (Hence the reason why you shouldn’t be trying to get my life story.) The more talking the more likely you’re going to start spraying. The fact that you’re leaning in means your saliva will most likely land in a place I don’t want it, like my upper lip, which will immediately start burning. All conversations should be kept to a minimum until we can transition to a quieter area or I decide to bless you with my phone number.


Not knowing when your time is up
Men are not good at reading body language. As visual as they are, sometimes…most times they just struggle with distinguishing the difference between “feelin’ you” and “fed up”. When your time is up baby, exit gracefully. Thanks






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